The Mighty Cockroach

In my closet a cockroach baby lived

My vacuum licked it away come spring cleaning day

Along with spiders, their webs and dust all gray

It‘d die in the dust chamber, I hope God forgives

Three weeks later dust bunnies were gathering

My vacuum got hot for yet another purpose

But a warm acrid smell made me horribly nauseous

To my surprise the roach was alive and kicking

No longer a nymph, it’s now a full grown monster

Sealed with the vacuum litter with no food or water

The insect thrived on nothing but dirt and moisture

It will outlive us all if the world went nuclear

Behold the mighty cockroach, so what fate awaited this beast?

I emptied it out onto the grass, and stamped it with my feet!

Warm Bodies

I like zombies. I’ve been catching all the latest zombie movies, 28 days later, zombieland, “… of the Dead” original series from George A. Romero, Walking Dead TV series and even the aberrant Resident Evil. You might then find it surprising that I am quite fond of the Warm Bodies, and its peculiar genre: Teen Zombie Romantic Comedy.

Meet R. R used to be living. Now he lives out his afterlife at an airport and eats humans for sustenance. But R is not very dead. His mind is burdened with contemplations of life death and conflictions about eating people. He actually narrates the entire movie, to effective comedic result. But he has no memory of his old life. Interestingly, zombies in this movie are highly functional, probably reliving their previous jobs to the point where even zombie infested zones have limited electricity supply.

R is truly unique but not alone. He has a best friend where he has almost-conversations with. The oddest thing is R lives alone in a marooned airplane right on the runway. He needs it, of course, to keep all the junk he has been treasuring like watches, sunglasses, and a vinyl collection which he plays (with limited electricity) to lighten up the mood a little. For a person who’s dead, R is livin’ the life.

This light hearted mellow comedy doesn’t follow the regular zombie lore. For instance zombies eat brains so that they can relive the memories of those they eat. This apparently compensates for the lack of the zombies’ ability to dream. And all zombies degrade into a malicious skeletal form – sans eyes and skin – eventually, they are called boneys. But other zombie conventions hold true – they won’t die unless they have their brain damaged otherwise they’re practically superhuman. The notion of zombie apocalypses doesn’t make much sense anyway, so the authors of Warm Bodies have my blessing.

Julie, our protagonist’s romantic love interest, hails from the city, a walled territory that keeps the dead out. She was on a foraging mission out in the dead zone for medical supplies. That day she met R. R was chomping down on her Julie’s boyfriend’s brains when his once dead heart throbbed a beat at the sight of her. Th- thump. He fell in love. He starts to live.

Given the film’s premise, I dare say this is the most interesting zombie movies I’ve seen ever. We have only ever seen the beginning of the apocalypse, and never the reverse. But Warm Bodies is at the end of the day, mainly a love story. And no, it is not like Twilight. If anything, this movies romance is inspired by Romeo and Juliet. (R and Julie, get it?) Furthermore, Nicholas Hoult’s spot-on portrayal of R as the perfect zombie boyfriend lends the film legitimacy as the most original and awesome zombie cum rom-com ever. 10/10.

Jack and Oz A Tale of Two Fairy Tales

Early in March I had the pleasure of watching back-to-back weekend screenings of what I would classify as modern day fairy tale movies. ‘Jack the Giant Slayer’ came first, then ‘Oz the Great and Powerful.

Jack is a twist on the often read bedtime story Jack and the Beanstalk where the single giant is replaced with a nation of enormous scraggly humanoids known as giants. They have managed to extend the fable of a poor farmer boy into an epic glitzy medieval war between a kingdom on the ground and the one in the clouds, oh yes a princess is involved. Jack is not without its flaws but on the whole it is wholesome, logical and at times fun.

Oz on the other hand is a prequel to the classic 1939 family-oriented fantasy adventure musical ‘The Wizard of Oz’ (and the book it was based on) which has spurned many sequels and reinterpretations. In this prequel we meet Oscar the magician who journeyed to Oz in a hot air balloon during a tornado super storm. Oscar would become the bogus wizard which Dorothy travelled to meet. We also meet up with the Glinda the good witch of the north, whose goodness is all too saccharine (read artificially sweet) for me. We also witness the initiation of the green skinned Wicked Witch of the West with an alternate storyline compared with the musical ‘Wicked’.

What strikes me as odd is that while both movies have a budget of around USD200mil, Jack is languishing in the box-office, a contender for flop of the year while Oz is close enough to break even. Oz has nowhere near the heartiness like Jack has. Oz, to me came across as incredibly childish and had me wincing the moment Oscar stepped into Oz. Larger than life flowers would greet Oscar like in Alice’s Wonderland. The Munchkin tribe have all the maturity of toddler targeted Saturday morning cartoon. And the biggest kicker: James Franco plays no one other than himself. 

No one dies in Oz, so that presumably pursues an even younger target audience. Jack on the other hand has scary giants and a lot of death takes place. However the gory details are left out for good measure.

Overall, out of 10, I would give Jack a 7.5 and Oz a 3. Jack the Giant Slayer is a far better production. So if you have watched Oz and are over the age of 10 and have not watched Jack yet, you might prefer Jack over Oz.