Samsung Galaxy Note

A Device Designed For Giants and Women

It’s too big. The phone is 5.3 inches, that’s 15cm by 8cm. it’s too huge to be a phone and it’s too small to be a tablet. Unless you have really big hands (and head), it’s awkward to hold and it’s awkward to look at when you’re holding it to your ear. But I’ve figured out how this neither here nor there device can work for some people.

1) Giants

If you’re 6’ 6” and taller, I’m guessing your hands are ungodly huge, and would fit nicely around the Galaxy Note. Your pants are probably huge too, so it’ll fit nicely in your pocket. That means yes, you can use it as a phone.

2) Women

The Galaxy Note fits nicely in handbags (Americans: purses), even small ones. This way she can carry the device all over the place and not feel uncomfortable and embarrassing like men would. That is if she doesn’t mind speaking into the speaker phone for calls.

Designing a phone that’s not targeted at the young adult male is always a risky venture. But for now Samsung note hype and marketing seems to be striking the right note.

My Swimming Coach Refused to Get Wet

It was early 2011 that a couple of colleagues of mine, KK, Matt and I decided that we will no longer be shackled by our aquatically challenged predicament. That is the three of us can’t swim to save our lives. OK I can, but KK honestly can’t and Matt can only manage 5 metres because that’s the longest he can hold his breath. Jokes aside, they’re really hopeless in water while I really wanted to correct my breast stroke and learn freestyle.

We googled our way through the web and the first result was this swimming school in Sunway. We thought it was a good deal as its prices were like RM240 for 12 sessions, 1 session per week. This was far cheaper than anything else in the market, so we thought.

Sunway Swimming School

The pool was located in Sun-U Residences, which is the hostel condo for the Sunway and Monash University students, so we knew we were in for an eye candy treat. The swimming pool is Olympic-sized but its depth ranges from 1 meter to 1.8 meters. On the shallow end there is an adjoining wade pool with steps to aid the hydrophobic.

If you’re not a condo unit resident, then you’ll have to use the poolside changing room. As outsiders, we had no choice but to use it, much to our displeasure. It’s not a pretty sight, the floor is hardly swept or mopped, the only half the toilets are working, and a few stalls don’t have doors, the walls were begrimed, unexplainable ooze etc. No wonder the condo residents seldom use it.

Our swimming coach, whom I’ll refer to as Jim, is a 40 something year old and slightly on the heavy side. He always wears a collared t-shirt and a pair shorts, and he keeps them on throughout the session because he never enters the pool. Ever. Once, a light drizzle forced him to carry an umbrella around the pool area.

His assistants, hired students, do get into the pool with students, but at most there are only 2 assistants for a class of like 20. And they’re usually attending to the children, while struggling adults fend for themselves. If his assistants don’t coach you, you’ve to settle with Jim hollering from the poolside, “Do like this, not like that, You, you look tired, go to the side and blow bubbles.”

Ahhh bubbles, blowing them is the skill taught to kids to teach them how to control air intake underwater. Unfortunately, I’ve met a fellow student who was really battling the water, but instead of intensive in-the-water coaching, Jim only instructed him to blow bubbles, and concentrated on the other students. I think he wasted more than of half his sessions blowing bubbles.

Learning the Strokes

In my first session, I jumped straight to learning freestyle, having learnt a passable breast stroke technique in the past, but I know my breast stroke is far from competition style.

Freestyle is hard, water always gets in your ears, and I can never get a proper breath. But it’s the fastest stroke to get from point A to B in the water. Without mastering the first two strokes, Jim actually asked me to try out butterfly and backstroke.

For total noobies, swimming greenhorns like my friends, Jim promised that they would at least learn how to swim the breast stroke and tread water. While they never got the hang of treading water, they at least learnt a little breaststroke or frog style, so it wasn’t a total waste of time and money.
Well, it was cheap, and we got what we paid for. In a nutshell, we did learn a thing or two, but I get that feeling that there’s something better out there.

Three Discouraging Circumstances

One day, before our session started, a huge storm cloud was approaching Sunway, with accompanying lightning streaks. We were poolside, and we can clearly see it coming toward us, but Jim brushed it off. ‘Swim? Why not?’ Fearing death by electrocution, we headed back to the changing rooms. Minutes later, it rained cats and dogs, and this time Jim was forced to stop. No respect.

Unfortunately, sometime in the middle of our 12 sessions, disaster hit the showers. The pipes in the public changing room were clogged. Remedial works to replace those pipes resulted in massive hacking to the walls. But instead of a quick fix, the renovation took weeks that left the walls exposed and half hacked. And worst of all, if the shower had water, the water was contaminated with sediment or dirt, so no matter how much we showered, we always ended up dirtier afterwards.

I’ve heard things about Sun-U Residences pool being itch inducing. I can confirm this, I’m allergic to lots of things, and I get an eczema rash as a result. The moment I enter the pool, I start scratching so I suspect it could be due to the plants found at the pool area perimeter or something. And I’m not allergic to other pools.

Go or No?

If you value a good education, I suggest you stay clear of Jim the Dry Coach and his short staffed swim school. Unless you live in the area, the jams you’d face getting to this place isn’t worth it.

My Desert Island

Customary desert Island cartoon

By definition, a desert island is an uninhabited island, remote and tropical. It’s kind of like short for ‘deserted island’. But how many of you, when hearing the words desert and island had the idea of a sandy tiny island with a coconut tree or two. I’m guilty of that misconception too, probably as a result of too many cartoons.

But what if we combine the two ideas? A desert and a tropical island.

Most deserted islands lack readily available sources of freshwater, that’s why most people don’t live on them. Some islands have a whole tropical forest with plenty of rain, but unless the island is of a considerable size, all that water can’t even support a year round flowing stream.

So if you stuck on a desert island, where can you get fresh water? With Bear Grylls as mentor, I’ve learnt that you can either forage the wilds for plants that hold water, find natural rainwater collectors like rocks, leaves and puddles or invent your own rain water collection system using whatever you can find, trash included. God bless that man.

But for a long term habitation on a low lying (no mountains to build dams) desert island, well water is a good solution. Rainwater seeps into the ground and provides underground water. If that island really receives no rain, then, you’re screwed.

Tuvalu Islands facing drought

As it turns out in September 2011, the Pacific islands of Tokelau and Tuvalu declared a water emergency. These nations are basically colections of desert islands. Ostensibly, global warming has changed weather patterns to the point where there is a severe drought in those island nations. Tuvalu’s 10,000 odd populations were saved by water shipments and desalination plants from Australia and New Zealand.

But how long can these small desert islands sustain human life? With the threat of rising seas and unpredictable climate changes on the horizon, the only solution is to move out. Sorry islanders.

The Adventures of Tintin Movie Review

I enjoyed reading Tintin while in school, and so naturally I was interested in finding out how Spielberg and Jackson might do justice to the much loved 80 year old comic series.

Well, the motion capture technology is not bad at all. They really captured the facial expressions, and created a world somewhere between cartoon and real life. Worry not; it is less like Robert Zemeckis’s Mars needs Moms but more like Gollum in Lord of the Rings, which means totally relatable characters.

This Tintin movie captures the fast paced, comedic nature of the literature, but Captain Haddock’s character, played by the one and only Andy Serkis, hogged more of the spotlight compared to the titular character himself. Good, or bad? Captain Haddock was supposed to be the second sidekick after Snowy.

So it is a must watch for Tintin fans, but also great fun all around. Rating: 7.5/10

PPSMI for Pure Science

PPSMI, The program known as ‘Teaching of Mathematics and Science in English Policy’ is supposedly better known by its unpronounceable Malay abbreviation PPSMI rather than something like ToMSiE which has a better ring to it. On the onset, if an English program is going to be better known by its Malay abbreviation, then it’s doomed for failure.

It was introduced by Mahathir in 2003 to help keep young Malaysians abreast with the latest in science and technology where the majority of content is in the English Language. Its secondary objective is to increase English proficiency throughout the nation.

In 2007, studies that were carried out challenged the efficacy of the whole program. Students, especially rural ones, lost interest in Science and Mathematics and their performance suffered. The enemies of PPSMI were quick to strike back. Dong Zhong (Chinese schools) and Gerakan Mansuhkan PPSMI (GMP) succeeded into coaxing the government to abolish PPSMI, Mahathir’s parting gift to Malaysia.

PPSMI’s failure is not due to the students, honestly, kids can absorb anything you throw at them. It’s the adults, teachers and parents who can’t handle the heat. It may be asking too much of monolingual teachers to spontaneously teach in another language. It would aptly take years of training, and not simply because CD ROMs, guide books and other digital aids were provided.

As a Malaysian school leaver, university graduate in Electrical Engineering and a working professional within the local engineering industry, I can comfortably comment on this matter without political bias or cultural sentiment.

My entire schooling life was unaffected by PPSMI, I studied Maths and completely in Bahasa Malaysia Science from Standard 1 to Upper Sixth Form. Then I had to make the abrupt switch to English in university. Had I not been brought up in an English speaking background, it would prove a double roadblock, and for some people it might extinguish any interest they had in science.

Let’s not kid ourselves, Malay nationalists, any credible technology driven company in Malaysia, multinational or otherwise, conducts all technical undertakings in English. Even today, most Malay scientific terms used in schools are blatantly borrowed from English anyway.

While most private colleges and universities in Malaysia use English completely, public universities straddle the line between Malay and English. Some lectures are in Malay, but not if there’s an international student. All reference books are in English, but some lecturers ‘publish’ their own books, sometimes in Malay. And you can answer your exam questions either in Malay or English. In short, it’s a mess.

One good and lasting outcome of the PPSMI in 2003 is its implementation on Form Six and matriculation maths and science subjects. Form 6 and matriculation are university preparatory courses for hard degrees like Medicine, Engineering and Information Technology; it’s more than appropriate that it uses English. And it’s staying that way even if/when PPSMI is abolished. Yahoo!

I learnt the meaning of futility upon arriving at university, coming from a Malay education background. In retrospective, tightly cramming line after line of Malay terms into my brain from my trusty Buku Ulangkaji (revision book), has next to no consequence in my professional life today.

My perspective is from an industry insider’s point of view. I don’t think it’s wrong to learn science and maths in your choice of vernacular language, but if you’re taking up those hard degrees or if your interest lies deep within these fields, then not learning it in English would be disadvantageous.

If PAGE wins, and the English option is available at all schools, then good. But if not, at the very least, the Ministry of Education should really bring a little PPSMI to the Pure Science (Sains Tulen) streams in Forms 4 and 5.

I’m singling out Additional Mathematics (Matematik Tambahan), Chemistry (Kimia), Biology (Biologi) and Physics (Fizik). Students in science stream would obviously consider going to university for further education in science related fields, and having it in English would be a great launch pad for pre-U. For everyone else, it’s fine in Malay, Mandarin or Tamil.

If the government decides to make the right decision again to revive the PPSMI, they should do it right. Hopefully they start with a smaller number of schools, which will eventually grow as more teachers become comfortable with teaching in English. And yes, the English Language as a subject has to be stepped up a whole lot.

Nasi Lemak 2.0 - A Dish by Namewee

Namewee’s maiden venture into the laid-back Malaysian movie scene is a successful one, making him an instant millionaire. I admit, I’m no avid watcher of his crass Youtube videos but I know he’s constantly been attacked by UMNO hate squad. And that’s reason enough to support him.


His videos may have gained infamy for impolitely deriding various key national figures and institutions, but after watching Nasi Lemak 2.0, I now realise how truly patriotic he is. I figure that if he returned to Muar, Malaysia after studying in Taiwan, it says a lot compared to thousands of Malaysian emigrating abroad because ‘there’s no future for them in Malaysia’.


It came to my surprise that Nasi Lemak 2.0 was not vulgar or unpolished, but passable attempt at a Malaysian flavoured, censor approved funny. While Mandarin is its primary language, it features a lot of Chinese dialects, Malay, Tamil and least of all Manglish. The movie was produced with the Malaysian social scene in mind but is this it for all Malaysians?


Although there are enough translated jokes to tickle the average Malaysian funny bone, my Chinese schooled friend divulged that most of Namawee’s jokes were Chinese school insider jokes. Those were ones that got him rotfl and if you hadn’t gone to Chinese school you’d be wondering ‘why’s that so funny?’ But I don’t think any Malaysian can comprehend every single language portrayed here, so fret not if you are not the target audience.


Other played up themes are recurring black outs and political satires. For instance, there was a scene with Patrick Teoh as the chief judge in a cooking contest. On his left and right, sat two other judges who are basically yes-men. If you knew Chinese, the judges’ names are slightly modified from the Chinese names given to the 3 ruling political parties. That would suggest that Patrick Teoh is UMNO, and the two expendable judges are MCA and MIC.


How does Namewee’s patriotism show? It’s his underlying message to the Chinese educated. Yes, the government is corrupt; yes electricity blackouts when you need it the most, and yes the various races don’t always see eye to eye. But consider the things that bind us all together like nasi lemak, Malaysia’s de facto national dish. And if my deductive skills are up to par, he’s indirectly saying to the Chinese: you’re Malaysian first.


By that same token, I appreciate his approach towards his ‘1Malaysia’ message. It differs from the government’s method where everything’s wonderful and hunky dory in this happy Disneyland of sorts.  Namewee calls a spade a spade, and laughs at it. Now that’s a 1Malaysia propaganda I can stomach. If you do watch this movie, look out for, catchy and humorous songs. 7/10.

Dubai Fountains Video

More Dubai Pics

First Dubai Report

“Dubai wants a demo immediately” said one of the managers when she popped by my cube. The project I’ve been working on for over a year seemed to be heading nowhere. Yet this is a refreshing change of pace for a product that has no signed customers. The most I had hoped for was a demo in the nearby potential clients premises in Bukit Jalil, but Dubai? Wow, things are looking up for this once ill-fated project.

Of course immediately wasn’t immediate, one week of late nights was essential to ‘polish’ up the product before the demo. But I don’t mind sweating it out for my first overseas business trip in 4 years.

Emirates Airlines

Our demo team were booked on a non-stop Emirates flight from KUL to DXB economy class. The flight was mostly like any other flight, but the flight attendants were something else. Most national airlines cabin crews in Asia are hired to reflect the local ethnicities. Emirates on the other hand employs everyone regardless of ethnicity or nationality. They can range from Australian to African, Korean to Brazilian, but there must always be one Arab to keep things grounded, so to speak.

The lunch meal I had on-board was mostly like any other airline meal. You have your bun and butter, appetizer, main course, dessert. Emirates throws in cheese and crackers and a mini chocolate bar. But wait, this airline gives you real cutlery in economy class, not those unmanageable plastic knives and sporks. Good too, if your neighbours kid get a little too annoying, try jabbing him with your metal fork.

The City of Dubai

Terminal 3 or whatever labyrinth of airport I had walked through was massive, impressive but hard on the old legs. I was sure I had walked a kilometre before I came to the exit. There we were picked up by our Dubai attaché, Usama, an Arab of French nationality who has worked in the Dubai corporate offices for a year and a half.

The atmosphere of Dubai struck me the second I put my foot out the departure hall doors. Dubai is hot and very humid, but more on that later. Despite Usama's lack of parking/driving skills, we made it safely out of the parking lot, and were soon whizzing along the wide highways around the futuristic airport terminals. Two things he pointed out, an unfinished airport terminal, another victim of the much publicised Dubai financial crisis and soon to be opened Green Metro line.

Each metro station looks sci-fi inspired and is air conditioned from top to toe, right down to the pedestrian bridge across the street from the station. Usama said the irony is that everyone drives; the trains are for poor people. And in my head: And tourists of course.


Usama brought us to the company offices in Dubai Airport Free Zone, one of the many free zones where foreign companies flock to. Companies like mine leverage on the benefits of these free zones, often making Dubai their business centre in the Arab world. And they fill them up with expats like Usama.

Dubai Weather: Indoors and Outdoors

Dubai is unlike most deserts; it is hot and has practically 90% humidity all year long. With this humidity, the nights are not much cooler, drops only a few degrees. If you Malaysians think our climate is uncomfortable, think again. Dubai is situated on the edge of the Persian Gulf, and all that evaporated seawater is the source of this sauna like conditions. In my mid-August trip, I faced temperatures of up to 38 degrees C. Usama said it’s worst in July when 48 degrees highs are observed. There is a law in Dubai that if temperatures exceed 50 degrees, a holiday will be declared. So it's no wonder there’s a nationwide conspiracy theory that the government intentionally adjusts the readings so that’s it’s always below 50.

You can’t live in Dubai without air-cond, especially in the summer. When I walked out of that airport, I walked no further than 50 feet under the shade before I started sweating. Or was it sweat? There’s so much water in the air, maybe it condensed on my clothes, mmm.

The weather in the air conditioned spaces is completely the opposite. I worked for a semiconductor plant, where the product line air is supposed to be dry (<10% humidity), but knowing Malaysia, this standard is hardly kept. On the other hand, Dubai’s air cond in the hotels, offices and malls are incredibly dry. Their dehumidifiers must be top notch.

To explain what I mean, I offer this scenario. I was outside Dubai Mall taking pictures of Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world, and I was immersed in sweat after 5 minutes out in the hot sun. I sluggishly dragged my now drenched jeans to the entrance of the mall for relief. The driest of dry air came gushing out to greet me and, in within 10 seconds, I was bone dry. So remember, when in Dubai, prepare for the two extreme climates, indoors and outdoors.

The Population of Dubai

Dubai is a city of transients. Actual Emirati citizens account for only maybe 5% of all the people you see. The bulk of the population are Indians and Pakistanis who work in low paying jobs like construction, security etc. Filipinas take up service jobs like waitressing, hoteling and domestic help. The Arabs you do see are most probably expats along with other expats from Europe, America and Asia.

Humble Lodgings

On the first day, after returning from the office, the demo team proceeded to check in at Le Meridien, a typical business hotel, but without complimentary wi-fi, what nerve. Anyway we were on Malaysia time and it’s close to 10pm, so we had our dinner at an Irish pub because other restaurants were closed for Ramadan, except a café adjacent to the lobby area which was temporarily partitioned off from prying eyes but open nonetheless.

While perusing the menu, what caught our eye was a ‘Contains Pork’ indicator next to some menu items. I guess the Arabs are not so anal about the same utensils being handled for pork, halal restaurants etc.

The next day, breakfast came. It was the most scrumptious breakfast I’ve had in recent memory. It was 5.30 am Dubai time, but for us it’s 9.30 KL time. The highlight of this hotel’s breakfast was clearly the pastries and the made-to-order eggs and other dishes. The rest of the buffet spread was definitively second-rate. I ate so much, I couldn’t eat fruits.

Demo in the Desert

The client’s premises are located in another free zone within Dubai but farther away from the downtown and the posh coastal hotels and condos. It’s near an exotic sounding township called Arabian Ranches. Travelling to this site so deep in the desert, we saw some of the more ambitious residential townships laying half constructed in the hot desert sun. Among these delayed projects include the unbuilt Universal Studios Dubai. Usama had an interesting quip: “They build so much; they forgot to find the people to stay in them. Everything on this side of the highway is desert, forgotten.” Yeah, concentrate on the palm islands, no one likes the desert.

Ramadhan in Dubai

First of all, the greeting here is Ramadan Kareem, not Ramadan Mubarak as is usually said back home. Another big difference is the reduction of working hours. During Ramadan, a normal 9 to 5 day will now be 10 to 4 without lunch, yes it covers non-Muslims too.

According to law, all restaurants are barred from serving food for dine-in. Big fast food outlets only open for take away. Subway was closed, but even the chips normally displayed on racks behind the counter had to be concealed from public view. Supermarkets and shops are open till midnight, but there are no Ramadan Bazaars here.

It seems that a special license is required to open for dine-in during the day, and even that, it must be cordoned off from Muslims just like in the hotel. It’s not all that bad for non-Muslims. All hotels seem to have one or two restaurants open, and cafeteria of the free zone offices are also open.

So it was after the demo, and we wanted to celebrate our success in the Dubai Mall, just under the shadow of Burj Khalifah, the tallest tower in the world. Our hunger was growing. We skipped lunch because we had to follow the client’s schedule, but all the restaurants seemed closed. We entered a shop selling dates, and bought a few. We started eating them when the Filipino saleslady came around. “No you cannot eat, it’s the rule here, there’s a 500 dirham fine.”

“You must hide, come to the back of the shop, don’t let the security guard see.” Needless to say, we were shocked. No one told us about this law on public eating and drinking, not even in your car. All the state backed Ramadan laws seem to coerce non-Muslims to fast alongside Muslims. If Malaysia were an Islamic country, and our constitution gone, I guess some quarters would see nothing wrong of dictating one religion’s law over another.

Dubai Mall

They say it the largest mall in the world (on basis of total area), and yep, it’s about the size of 2 Berjaya Times Squares including all the deserted upper floors. Among its standout attractions are the Dubai Fountain, a ripoff the Las Vegas’s Fountains of Bellagio, an Aquarium, Kidzania, a Sega Republic indoor theme park, an ice rink and The Gold Souk.

The Gold Souk is noteworthy not because it is imitates a real gold souk, or traditional Arab market, but because it’s designed with maze-like alleyways, ornate courtyards and the fact that more than ¾ the jewellery shops are boarded up. It’s like the only section of the mall that is deserted probably as a result of the financial crisis.

Finally, after 14 hours of state sponsored fasting (OK I drank water, arrest me), we found an Arabian restaurant to have our iftar meal. We ordered the iftar set meal thinking we would get the most authentic Arabian experience. Boy, did that plan backfire, I was full on the appetizer alone. They say Ramadan is the most wasteful time of the year, and I got to see it first-hand.

Check out more pictures I took of Dubai.

And a video of the Dubai fountains, apparently the shows are only a few minutes long.

To my second report.

The Biased Catholic Church

My church is a Jesuit catholic church in Malaysia has always been quite vocal when it comes to current issues. The Jesuit mission is hard to describe but some say they are like a think tank and executive arm of the church. So it’s no surprise that each Jesuit brother takes a clear stand on political issues. And they convey their viewpoints even in homilies (Catholic sermons) and in the announcements towards the end of the mass.


Apparently my church’s political fervour didn’t sit well with some members of the congregation who preferred the church, the near 2000 year old church, to remain apolitical, taking no sides in the political arena, and deemphasize politics on the whole.

One priest had this to say: "Let me stress, the Church has never been neutral. Not now, not in the past and not ever. We won’t tell you how to vote, but the church will always side with truth and justice.”


It’s true the Catholic Church was never neutral. All throughout European history, the church has been taking sides for its own benefit as well as the benefit of Christianity. It has even sparked multiple wars like the crusades, and many have attributed it to the downfall of communism (China is evidently scared of it as well).

Compared to centuries past, the ‘truth and justice’ portion may be a more modern stance. But it’s one that I fully support. As much as we loathe politics, Christianity encompasses all aspects of life and does not merely centre on religious affairs.

The church exercises it duties to single out any exploitations or abuse by the local authorities and resists against infringements on human rights and the faith, no matter which political party commits them. The church clergy are brave enough to stand up and be counted, even when they know that listening in their masses are government spies in the form of Special Branch officers in plain clothes.

Unlike other churches of other denominations, the Catholic Church is not a democracy. The priests’ actions reflect the Pope’s own position. Hide if you must, cover your ears, my warrior Jesuit church will not be silenced and they will forever be biased.

Perfect Subway Sauce Combination

I've done some experimenting, and i figured out that the Best Combo of Subway Sauces that you can't go wrong with is Mustard, Mayonaisse and Ketchup(or Tomato Sauce). Alternatively you can exchange ketchup for their delicious Marinara sauce. Some of you may not like Subway, but I say it's all about getting the sauces right, in the right amount of course. This is it, try it on for size.

Transformers 3: Movie Review

Hype is undefeatable. No? Don’t agree? Just take a look at Transfomers 3, how otherwise would you explain its enormous first weekend earnings from the box office. I could barely get a ticket on the first week, and when I did, I had to settle for a neck wrenching two and a half hours on the first cinema row. On the bright side, my seat was in the centre of the theatre.

This summer season has many big budget blockbusters lined up, Thor, X-Men: First Class, Pirates 4, Green Lantern (which I love) to name a few. All are mostly acceptable; I acknowledge their pluses and their minuses. However, if you want me to identify the Dud of the Year, I’d say Transformers 3 takes the cake, and shoves it at your face.

Oh the cruelty! My head was shaking in disbelief at times, although not as often as transformers 2. “It was better than the second one”, that’s what all the fans say. They’re right, but it’s not better by much.

If you think that the Witwicky parents were annoying in Transformers 2, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that the Witwickys unnatural contrived humour was toned down. The bad news is that that same humour found itself sprouting in the other characters, just like a Greek mythological Hydra (cut one head off, out comes two heads), kind of, well; they’re both nonsense.

Besides that, everyone was overly hyper in the first half. If you had slightly hated Shia Lebeouf before, you’ll hate the guts out of him here. And that chick they hired to replace Megan Fox, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, was hired to look luscious and definitely not for her acting. She does her first job well, not the second. Thank goodness they didn’t try to infuse comedy into her role.

You know what usually I love about these big budgeted action movies, it’s the production quality. For instance if you have a big battle scene, you see the grit, the blood, the torn costumes, the scars, the ashen landscape, every little detail adds to the mood and character of the motion picture. It makes sense, it feels right.

Disappointingly, Transformers 3 is nothing like those movies, there are so many incongruous scenes; I’m only going to list three. Scene 1, the city of Chicago had been overtaken by the Decepticons, you see the extras running helter-skelter when the heroes attempt to breach the enemy barricades. That’s understandable, and people might need to run away. But as our heroes venture deeper into the heart of enemy territory, the same density of people were running away as if the Twin Towers just fell. Mind you, this takes place hours after Chicago inner city had been captured. It just doesn’t gel.

Another scene: We all saw the piece de resistance scene in the trailers, the one with the wormlike Decepticon grinding an office building in half, the top half of the building toppling over. We catch a glimpse of every floor in the tilted building as our heroes find safety in the doomed building. Most floors are empty, but hang on; one floor is fully occupied like any other working day, never mind the alien invasion outside.

The third but certainly not last gaffe I’d like to point out is the scene where Patrick Dempsey took cover from a rain of bullets shattering the apartment windows from a hovering chopper. He ducked under the kitchen island, but when he emerged, there was not a scratch to his face, but his jacket was instantly scuffed up and evenly ripped all over (looked like someone meticulously scratched the jacket with a box-cutter knife).

Sam holds the spiny Laserbeak by it's neck, Look Ma, No Blood!

With such attention to detail, I’m urged to demand my money back from Michael Bay. But it’s not all bad; remember it was better than the second one! If you strip the plot down to its bare essentials, it’s pretty decent; you’ve got betrayal, devotion, a couple of twists, hidden motives, provocative seduction and triumph.

When the dust settles, I say the negatives outweigh the positives. It’s sad that such an expensive movie can be produced so badly. But I give extra points for costs. So my rating is a 5/10 including an extra star for the massive budget.

Bersih 2.0 and the Right to Gather

All peaceful gatherings cannot be illegal. That is according to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, Article 20 which endorses the right to freedom of assembly and association. Naturally the government of Malaysia doesn’t recognise this fundamental human right.


Freedom of speech, the right to assemble, the Malaysian government will have none of it, unless the gathering involves the ruling political parties themselves. Moreover the spineless way in which the government hides behind the unjust laws such as Section 27 of the Police Act erodes the government’s credibility. Absurdly, police permits are required for more than 5 people to gather.


The first Bersih rally in 2007 demanding electoral reforms was attributed as the main cause for BN’s loss of 2/3s majority and the loss of four states. Fearful of the similar repercussions of another Bersih rally in 2011, Najib pulled out all the stops to wreck the Bersih machinery. This time he would deploy more FRU enforcements, water cannons and tear gas and nauseating propaganda. What happened to the ‘Days of Government Knows Best are over’?


If Malaysia were to follow international standards, Bersih would have been permitted. It’s a planned peaceful demonstration but the size of the turnout warrants police and FRU presence. If and only if things get violent, then the police can order the crowds to disperse and use water cannons, tear gas and so forth.


On the other hand, what had transpired seemed to come straight out of Chapter One of the ‘Authoritarian Regime for Dummies’. The organisers were branded as criminals because Bersih was not a registered organisation. I have to agree that Pakatan Rakyat was the real driving force, but that is a poor excuse.


The official statement is that Bersih is not championing free and fair elections but actually a political rally. You know: So what?! If the slogan of the rally was ‘Vote Pakatan!’ they should be allowed to especially if it was peaceful (and even if it’s outside the campaigning period).


They disparaged the Bersih raison d’etre, saying that the demands were silly as the elections were always fair, how else did they lose 2/3s majority and 4 states (repeat 10 times if you want to lose your lunch). Does that mean in a fair election the opposition can never win the majority number of seats? Much like repressive regimes in China and in the Arab world, the Malaysian government seeks to quell any dissension against its rule.


On July 9th the rally took place despite a lockdown of all proposed meeting points.  Unlike the first rally, the protesters did not get their ‘Tahrir Square’. Five separate groups of protesters tried marching criss-cross around KL trying to reach the impenetrable Stadium Merdeka. The scene is much like a Pac-man game; protesters were evading and sometimes confronting the police force. The leaders Ambiga, Anwar and Hadi Awang were arrested only within 40 minutes of their departure from KL Sentral.


Foreign reports and Youtube videos clearly showed excessive force by police forces on protesters, but these were met with utter denial by Najib and his gang. On the day after, Najib mocked Anwar and the Bersih 2.0 rally in a way most unbecoming of a prime minister.


So who won? Najib or Anwar? I guess the 13th General Elections are the ultimate report card however manipulated it may be. I think the rakyat may be willing to sacrifice all the economic progress that Najib enticed us with in exchange for these simple liberties.


I’m not a supporter of the opposition or the government and I don’t like to join rallies. (I'm a supporter of the rakyat) But I do respect the fact that some people feel so strongly about their need to take to the streets and exercise their civil rights. My fingers are crossed for that one day when we will get to enjoy those fundamental rights and freedoms that so many countries are blessed with.


You are a human being.  You have rights inherent in that reality.  You have dignity and worth that exists prior to law. 
Lyn Beth Neylon

Super 8 : Removing Expectations

Expectations. We all have them before enter the theatre. With all the hype, trailers and promotions these gargantuan movie productions spew onto us, the poor innocent movie goers, we can’t help but to form presuppositions as to what the story is about or how fast paced or thrilling the whole movie would be. With today’s give-it-all-up trailers, I know friends who would avoid watching any trailers at all so that their movie experience won’t be spoilt.


Consideration for such matters is why producer-writer-director JJ Abrams created so few trailers which don’t reveal any footage past the first half hour of the movie. His plan: to recapture that long lost anticipation of the unknown, that sense of surprise and wonderment at the handiwork of the director. Well, it pains me to inform you that it doesn’t work. People are still going to the cinemas expecting something or other. Spoilt little brats aren’t we?


Super 8’s premise is as such: a group of six pre-teenage kids, 5 boys and 1 girl who set out to make a motion picture for entry into a film festival in 1979. The girl is played by Elle Fanning, Dakota Fanning’s sister, and the charisma she commands on screen is marvellous to watch. One night they were filming at a train station, and the unthinkable happened, a car jumped onto the tracks and caused a passing train to derail. This scene is one dragged out disaster sequence you wouldn’t want to miss; too spectacular to be spent for restroom breaks.


But then the train’s cargo was not ordinary. It carried a beast, a beast that throughout the movie will only be revealed bit by bit. This is an obvious tactic previously employed in movies of the 70s like Jaws. And so in the aftermath of the crash, the beast broke out from its vehicular prison only to singly attack the inhabitants of a nearby town. Despite the pandemonium erupting in their town, the six kids are determined to complete their film project hoping that it brings ‘production value’.


For most of the movie, the beast and its nightly aggressions form only the backdrop. Because the core of the story revolves around the relationships between the six kids with some parental figures added into the mix. Without detailing each character, I would say that the kids did have that synergy that translated into utter believability on the silver screen. The character intensive story line proved to be engaging for me at least.


Well the down side to all of this is that audience members who expect a monster movie would be completely disappointed. Some had felt that they were watching a children’s show instead. On the other hand if you were expecting an ET-like interaction with the kids, you would probably leave discontented. Very tricky indeed, by removing so many expectations ahead of the screening, Spielberg and Abrams have possibly missed the target audience.


And I have to say something about the beast itself. It is incredibly unimaginative. It looks like pieces of various monster characters you would find in video games put together coated in a monotone brownish black paint. Totally forgettable indeed, like in the video game, it’s a boss monster you have to defeat to get to the next level.


If you’re the type who thinks endings either make or break the film, then I’ll admit that it is a little cracked. Super 8’s ending scantly reminds me of that for Indiana Jones 4, the crystal skull kingdom movie. (Don’t worry, no spoilers)The gist of it is that the mystery beast is revealed, and the show’s protagonists have some sort of interaction with it. Some measure of veneration and respect is shown to the beast, and before you know it, it leaves the planet.


Make sure you stay for the credits because you get to see the gang's 'final product' - that is their film entry for the festival. One friend of mine said he didn't like the movie but that movie-within-a-movie made it all worthwhile. That's when you piece all those loose scenes together and given their lack of resources, they came up with something cute, adorable and just out right funny.


I’d like to think that JJ Abrams is the new Spielberg of our generation. Lost, Alias and Fringe are so complex, but managed to pique my interest episode after episode. Super 8 may not be the ideal summer flick, but it bears many JJ Abrams qualities. Now if only Spielberg didn’t mess with the ending (just kidding). The fact is that Super 8 is a movie about relationships with a monster lurking around in the background. Hence, I believe the key to its enjoyment is knowing what to expect. 7/10.

Movie Review: X-Men: First Class

This is what every great franchise comic book series needs, an origins story. It’s usually the first instalment though; the first Spider-Man and Ironman movies were possibly the greatest of all. However in X-Men, they started off with finding young mutants then bringing them to the X-Mansion under the tutelage of Professor –X. It all sounds kind of Harry Potterish, don’t you think?


This movie, X-Men: First Class focuses on the origins of X-Men itself. That puts it on par with that first Spider-Man, the first Ironman and etc. And more importantly it has the eminence of such movies. Who knows, if they had begun with a story like this, X-Men would be a greater franchise than it is now. Of course all this is only one guy’s opinion.


It starts with the evil. We catch a glimpse of Magneto’s origins tale in the Nazi setting. Magneto’s creator, Sebastian Shaw (played by Kevin Bacon) was a strong character, it’s a pity they didn’t give him a cool memorable comic book moniker. Despite the uninspiring name, Kevin Bacon delivers the blows, possibly a nomination as villain of the year maybe?


Did you know that Magneto’s helmet has nothing to do with magnetism or fashion sense? It’s actually a shield against telepaths like his arch nemesis Prof. X. This Y-shape barbute helmet that Magneto wears has a protruding sharp point pressed against the tip of the nose. That helmet made me anxious, I tell you, if you tilt the helmet forwards, OUCH! Another grouse I have with the fashion is the uniformed black and yellow jumpsuits all X-Men wear, it’s so not reflective of the 60s.


I don’t know if this is a trend, but action series today like to incorporate history, or rather mangle it. In X-Men the Cuban missile crisis of the 60s was rewritten so that the mutants would take part in a final battle. Yes, a battle took place in this version of history and it includes all your favourite X-Men. While most of the movie leading up to this battle was fine so far, this battle scene was unfortunately a tad cheesy. The American and Soviet navy men, in my opinion were very cartoonish  in their behaviour, and when the X-Men, especially Havok and Banshee, showed off their skills, it made me want to grimace in embarrassment.


Less than satisfying final battle notwithstanding, there was one scene where I thought was worth remembering. I hope I don’t spoil it for anyone but in Magneto’s last whack job, I’d like to call it the slow levitating coin passing through the centre of the brain killing technique. If MTV Movie Awards created a category for Best Kill Scene, this movie would win.


However Michael Fassbender’s casting as Magneto may have been a mistake, as you may not see him as the future super villain that Magneto ought to be. Same goes for James McAvoy as Prof. X, another brilliant actor but to grow up and step into Jean Luc Picard’s (Patrick Stewart) shoes, it doesn’t quite fit.


In conclusion, this movie aims to wrap up all loose ends concerning the X-Men founders past, and especially how Prof Xavier’s team and their villainous counterparts came to exist. It’s exciting, engaging character centric scenes lift it among other X-Men movies. It’s a direction that superhero films should be taking; worth a watch for fans and for the family. My rating is 8.5.

Movie Review: Green Lantern

I’ve never really heard of the Green Lantern comics before and no way am I a Green Lantern fanboy.  And I was scared; scared I tell you when I saw all the negative reviews online and the mediocre ratings by my friends who have watched it. But I vowed to watch all the super hero movies this year, hoping to find a gem. And two hours later, I believe I’ve found it.


There has been so much negative hype surrounding the movie, I’m afraid people have made up their minds before they gave it a chance.


The movie’s prologue narrative lays out the Green Lantern fictional universe. The Guardians are the immortal founders and leaders of the Green Lantern Corps, a sort of intergalactic police force which is headquartered in the planet Oa. The Corps divide their jurisdiction among 3600 sectors throughout the universe.


Now in this comic book, the power of the green lantern is harnessed from ‘will power’ of the universe’s population through the use of a Green Lantern ring. The colour of will power is represented by green, hence the whole green concept. In this movie, there is a rival force fuelled by fear represented by the colour yellow. One of the guardians experimented with this new force but was somehow turned evil by it. He became Parallax, who sucks the life out of entire planets, before Abin Sur a Green Lantern hero entrapped him. Parallax broke out of his prison and attacked Abin Sur. Gravely injured, Abin Sur went to the nearest planet, Earth for the ring to find its successor.


I don’t know if you agree with me but I think this is the best superhero movie since Ironman 1. Despite the critics’ countless blows at its storyline I think that the story is the Green Lanterns strongest point. I must admit this is among the most sci-fi oriented comic books on the shelf. And the general populace may not be so accustomed to hearing weird concept about ‘will-power’ and fear thrown about and quarter of the movie taking place on an alien world.


Beware of spoilers below.

I don’t know what people expect of The Green Lantern, but I can tell you, it’s not a story about a team of intergalactic policeman, it’s not super villain movie like The Dark Knight because it’s centred on one man. Hal Jordan is that man, a maverick pilot a human who had been chosen for a great role. At first he was overwhelmed, then he grew afraid of the enormity of his job, and actually tried to quit.


But then Parallax turned its sights on Earth, Hal found out about this and decided to save our home planet from being annihilated. He manned up and sought help from the Guardians to save Earth, but no help came, they resolved to tactically sacrifice Earth. So Hal was alone against Parallax.


So the whole movie is about stepping up to the responsibility. I know it’s more popular to choose an underdog-to-superhero story but this one is different. And he was chosen because he thinks outside the box.


There is a lesser villain in the story and somehow related to all the main characters. This sub-villain Hector Hammond became super powerful when he got infected with some remnant of Parallax and ultimately became its subordinate.


I liked the story; it’s a good comic book adaptation, but mostly because they related to human values like courage and rejection and jealousy. A couple of friends disliked it for a couple of reasons; one was because there was no big battle scene involving a team of Green Lanterns. Who says all superhero stories need big battle scenes? The final battle scene was short but I think it was impactful. Why would you want a long battle scene full of useless action? It’s supposed to be about Hal being the greatest Green Lantern after all, not a team of X-men.


And the second reason was apparently Parallax was depicted as a giant intergalactic tentacle armed cloud like beast with a big ugly head. It is what it is. Nothing wrong with that, I say.
The expectations of the audience are this movie’s Achilles Heel. They should have revealed less in the trailers, like Super 8. Super 8 wasn’t that great, the monster sucks as well, but they marketed it by making it one big teaser.


From what I’ve heard, this movie follows the spirit of the comics pretty closely. I guess fan boys and sci-fi fans like me like it. But seriously, don’t come to the cinema expecting X-men or Spiderman. I know there are a slew of superhero movies this summer, too much for some to take, but my rating is 9/10, my movie of the year so far.

When the Deaf Speak, They Sign

My encounters with the deaf and sign language began when someone came around our school handing out bookmarks with sign language alphabets printed on them. A bunch of us challenged ourselves to memorise the alphabets. That was pretty cool. OK it was geeky cool and I couldn’t care less what you think.

My secondary school had a single deaf class. There was this one prominent incident seared in my memory. It was during our daily assembly, and for some reason or other the whole school was singing the national anthem dispiritedly. However the deaf class were busy signing away the anthem with their hands, our lack of patriotism has not affected them one bit. The discipline teacher grabbed the mike, and chastised us for the deplorable singing and said “You should be ashamed, even the deaf kids sang louder than you. Again!”

The most recent encounters with the hearing impaired were in the church I go to. Every Sunday in the front left corner of the church, members of the deaf community will sit in a few specially reserved pews close to the priest. The entire proceedings of the mass will be translated into sign language for the benefit of the deaf worshippers. Their sign language seemed so complex; it goes way beyond the alphabets I learnt. In addition, I observed that the interpreters struggle to translate when people speak fast.

In my opinion, sign language is an alternative language. What I mean is that although it doesn’t rely on speech it is a well developed language. Learning it would be cool, I thought. Imagine this: You and your friend are miles apart. No, you don’t have cell phones, wireless or wired technology of any kind. But you’re within visual contact, and throw in a pair of binoculars. Wouldn’t it be awesome to be able to communicate simple, concrete or abstract ideas using only your body? And shouldn’t it be like the third component of language? Learning English would involve oral, written and now the signing form of English. Brilliant?

Sign Language Level Zero

So one day I saw a little announcement in the church bulletins that advertised a sign language course by the deaf outreach program of the church. Fun, among other reasons, was why I signed up. On our first Saturday afternoon class, I was among 15 interested students from all walks of life. Some were just beginning their careers, and some have long ended theirs.

Ground rules were laid down in our very first class and the No. 1 rule was that we must not use our voice. Tough indeed. However clumsy it was, questions needed to be written down on the white board. Every week we learnt roughly about 40 new signs. While I made it a point to attend every lesson, others wouldn’t or couldn’t be that devoted. I guess that’s the best you can expect from a Saturday afternoon class.

Our teachers tried to impress upon us that all of us unthinkingly use signs and gestures in our everyday communication. From the time you invite someone into your house, or try to say that that chilli is too hot but couldn’t, or the way we shrug when asked a question we don’t know, we already have a form of sign language. That strict no speaking policy in class forced us to use the few signs that we had learnt and to gesture out everything else that we were trying to say. Surprisingly fun, we had a ball of a time acting out a drama we wrote ourselves using just sign language and gestures.

Now, having completed the entire newbie course, I have formed a rough overview of sign language. Sign language consists of patterns and combinations formed by moving hands, arms, and body in specific shapes, orientation and direction. Its grammar is different from that of its associated spoken language. Some words in sign language take longer to sign than the time it takes to speak it so its grammar is simplified. To save on time, common phrases like “How do you do?” or “Where is he going?” are condensed into a single sign word instead of four. Filler words like ‘the’, ‘are’, ‘of’ are omitted.

Perhaps most notably, when contrasted against other languages I found that sign language heavily incorporates facial expressions into the language. If you’re trying to sign that you are angry but your face is expressionless, what you say has no meaning. A speaking world example would be a stereotypical monotonous German saying that he’s happy without so much as a raise in his tone.

One of the more eager students brought a sign language dictionary to class. His enthusiasm was curbed when our teacher clarified that unlike most spoken or written languages, sign language is with the deaf, i.e. the best way to learn it is through socialising with the deaf community. After all with a pool of speakers this small, learning sign language is less like learning a new language like German or Japanese but more like learning the secret language of your childhood gang.

Sign Language in the World

Itching for a little background information, I did a little research. As always I’ll share it with you. I was wrong before when I thought that sign language was a global language or if there was any kind of internationalization at all. For every nation’s primary spoken language, there is a sign language counterpart. But it may branch out more, for instance British Sign language and American Sign Language are mutually unintelligible (that is a Brit can’t understand a Yankee’s sign language) although the two spoken English languages are so similar.

In my country Malaysia, apparently some American came over in the mid-20th century and influenced the early development of sign language, so the Malaysian sign language is mostly derived from the American Sign Language (ASL) with a few localized variations, in other words, a dialect. They use more ASL words if they are speaking in an English speaking crowd and less Malay influenced words.

Globally, sign language evolved just like any other language in this world blending in with local gestures, local culture and any other influences that crossed its path, but get this straight, each sign language by itself is a bona fide living language. While the world’s sign languages are free to chart their own courses, the world’s small deaf community face some complication. If a deaf person comes to visit from overseas and their native sign language is so different from the local deaf sign language, to communicate they have to return to the basics of gesturing or writing on paper. Suffice to say, the lack of uniformity between the world’s sign languages doesn’t do the deaf any favours.

So why should hearing people learn sign language? It’s definitely not an international language, what you learn is probably only applicable within your local deaf community. Quite simply, social integration; the finest way to bring out the best in the deaf is to talk to them in their own language. Also, it is the right of the deaf community to have interpreters. But you hardly see people learning sign language for reasons other than if you have a deaf family member or if your job involves their community.

The Deaf Are Not Disabled

While the deaf may seem like the most able of disabled peoples, they look normal, they act normal, but the only time you get the hint that they’re deaf is when you talk to them. Nevertheless, they faced a lot of adversity throughout their lives even to the extent of oppression.

It was after the class drama that one our teachers, Karen who was hearing impaired kept asking us how we felt especially trying to communicate without our natural voice. She asked “Was it awkward trying to talk but not knowing how to say it? Did you feel shy about it?”

She was trying to explain to us that for deaf people, their first instincts in a speaking world were to cower in the fear of social rejection. She told us how some parents would get so frustrated with their deaf children; they would chide them into behaving normally, and consequently avoid sign language and gesturing altogether. The deaf community find strength in groups forming a distinct deaf culture. Sign language is a tool for deaf empowerment as it turns out.

Deaf Digest of the USA has summed up a few misconceptions hearing people believe in:

• Every hearing person speaks perfectly
• Every deaf person is skilled lip-reader
• Deaf people don't need interpreters because of lip-reading
• Deaf people don't need TV captions because of lip-reading
• Every deaf person is unemployed

I acknowledge that my church’s almost free sign language classes have a higher purpose to train much needed deaf interpreters for the churches. But like all religious related services, it requires a higher calling and a commitment of hours per week. In this case you are basically joining the deaf community as a peripheral member. That idea is totally the opposite of what I had when I first signed up. And so like one of two travellers who met on the road, I have to say, “Take care, this is where we part ways”.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides: Movie Review

If you don’t know the history of Pirates, it's like this, while the first movie’s great, the second and third not so much. But everybody loves Captain Jack Sparrow. My enthusiasm for the fourth edition remained high even after 8 years although my colleagues said they rather eat dirt. C’mon, give pirates a chance. Rotten tomatoes gave it a squish, but I think people are just jaded over the whole franchise.

Okay, the first 15 minutes were bad. Sure Jack ran all over London away from all the king’s men but it was boring pointless fun. For me the real story began on ship of Black Beard, the notorious 18th century pirate. Penélope Cruz’s character added duplicity, throughout the movie because you’d never know whether she sided with Jack or Black Beard. The mermaids were awesome, but I think the producers were undecided about how to cover the mermaid bosoms. One scene I saw scales, in another no scales but hair.

But unlike number 2 and 3, I gave this plot my stamp of approval. Sure each pirate movie needs a healthy portion of fantasy and magic but it’s not too ridiculous like in 2 and 3. Without giving any spoilers, Pirates 4 is about 3 different parties all searching for the fountain of youth. There’s one subplot about a missionary man constant defying Black Beard and his evil ways and eventually falling in love with a mermaid. Very endearing. This time they aimed on disclosing the selfishness of human character (of Black Beard mostly) and the inevitability of fate. I liked the surprise they threw about the true intentions of Spanish fleet when they were searching for the fountain of youth.

So if you’re not too fed up of the whole genre, go on and watch it. I promise it doesn’t sink.

My First Language

English. A simple question deserves the shortest answer

While the term first language has various definitions, I think back to my school days in an Australian university filling up admin forms, and one of the form fields to fill was your first language. The Malaysian in me showed some hesitation. I had rarely come across the term ‘first language’, because in Malaysia if we were asked to single out any language, it’s probably to ask what your mother tongue is.

Arguably the term mother tongue, native language or ‘bahasa ibunda’ on the forms refers to the first language you are supposed to have learnt from your parents. In race-oriented Malaysia, they usually mean the language of one's ethnic background. For instance, if a Chinese like myself enters a government department, the officer would make snap judgments, “Religion: Buddha, Native tongue: Chinese, School: Some Chinese School”. That’s wrong, somewhat right and wrong. You see here that the term mother tongue, people’s own language etc. is associated solely on the colour of your skin.


And so I am heartened by the appellation ‘first language’ because it characterizes you as an individual with your own unique background, and not simply what is expected of you. Since there are various definitions out there, I’m going to give my own.

What Should Your First Language Be?

Your First Language should be:

•  Your first language is the language you are most comfortable with.
•  It’s the language you use in your head when you’re thinking to yourself (If you are adept at creating your own language, be sure to contact your nearest  fantasy or alien movie producers for major motion picture deal)
•  It’s most likely then language you learnt in your formative years. Environmental factors do factor in. 
•  It’s more often than not the language which your mastery of is the greatest where mastery includes vocabulary, grammar, slangs in use when communicating with other fellow speakers.

Exceptions abound for my definition of first language. I’ve known of people who are more comfortable in another language than the one they grew up with. One such person was adopted into a family during his teens and had to pick up a totally alien language which he eventually took as his first language.


I also know a whole bunch of people who speak Chinese dialects but because they never had formal Chinese education never learnt how to read and write the Chinese language. In today’s internet and knowledge driven world, they effectively know only half of the language, but they have enough to get by especially in one to one interactions.


Coming from a country with so many diverse and disparate cultures, I am witness to the many many forms of multilingualism. We are divided into ethnic groups but also social classes, urban or rural. I wrote more about it in a previous article.

Where I Fit In

Where do I fit in? To be precise, my first Language is Malaysian Standard English. I’d say that I’m a minority in a minority. I am what some might call an “English-educated” Chinese. But in today’s world, that is a misnomer. The fact is I went to national school. Everything I studied; science, mathematics, geography, history etc. was in the Malay Language or Bahasa Malaysia. That’s 13 years including 2 years of pre-university Form 6. English was just a language subject.

A dose of history: Back in the British Colonial days, there were schools of every kind. 1950s Malaysia was a different world then, English schools existed because they were setup by the British or missionaries. Obviously Britain controlled the economy, and as such, priority and favour were given to those who speak fluent English. There is a preconceived notion that English educated Malaysians were a class above came about, it’s not true though.

But in the 1970, all English schools met their demise. The new national education policy aimed to control and somewhat realign the syllabi of all schools in the country and more notably to turn once English-medium schools into Malay-medium ones. This policy shift arose in the wake of racial clashes in 1969 and is intended to ‘unify’ the nation. The Chinese, Tamil and Malay schools carried on, but the English schools were buried 6 feet under. Tell me, was it really the English educated who had a hand in the racial clashes? To me this was an excuse to get rid of what Malays reviled at the time, the English and all their influences in Malaysia.


While I may not be English educated, my parents were. They went to English schools because an English education presented the best opportunities to get ahead that competitive world. Whatever traditions they have, they passed on their on to me. I grew up reading lots of English books starting with Enid Blyton series. We had bought old Hollywood movies, cartoons and musicals in video cassette form. The internet was in its early years, though not as informative as this Wikipedia age.


English in the Malaysian media is alive and kicking. There are two main newspapers putting Malaysian Standard English into print, The New Straits Times and The Star. There are also a handful of English radio stations on the airwaves but local English TV programs other than news are scarce. The theatre scene in Kuala Lumpur is extraordinarily vibrant, modern and lively enough to attract a sustainable crowd.

And ultimately the Malaysian English speaking people like me will continue to persist and prosper in Malaysia but mostly in pockets concentrated in the more urban regions of Malaysia; I should know because I’m a product of it.

Back to School

But what really left a mark on my proficiency in English was my primary school which was a private school. That school taught me English as if it were my first language. I received 6 hours of English classes a week, which is on par with the learning of the Malay language. More importantly we were taught grammar but unfortunately not phonetics. It was not an English-medium school though, as all other subjects were in Malay. Nevertheless, most students I’ve interacted with are like me who use English as their primary language. I guess that’s how English was dominant in my formative years.


When I transferred to national school for my secondary education, I saw the great shortcomings in the teaching of the English Language subject in Malaysian public schools. The syllabus was incredibly easy-peasy. All the simple multiple choice questions, fill-in-the-blanks and the heavily guided compositions are all deliberately designed for the students to NOT master the English Language, which is a pity because with 4 hours a week, a lot of mastery can be gained.


While English in my first 3 years in lower secondary (leading up to PMR) was smooth sailing, the last two years of secondary (leading up to SPM) were very different. We had a very enthusiastic English teacher who was the head of the English Department at our school. In those two years, our English advanced like never before. She had organised debates, speech and story writing competitions, encouraged us to read more mature forms of literature and even verging on theatre. She expected a lot from us, and we delivered, at least my class did. She corrected our grammar and made sure everyone knew about it; and we had a vocabulary book just like I had in primary school where we jot down new words that we come across.


Alas my English Language slide was corrected.  Later in life I found out that this was an anomaly, most of my peers in college never had such an English coach. Her lesson plan clearly deviated from what the government prescribed, as she took her lonely stand against the deterioration of English in Malaysia and for this I owe her much thanks.

The Others (Dan Lain-lain)

In Malaysia, being Chinese and not knowing Chinese earned me the moniker ‘Banana’, that’s yellow on the outside, white on the inside. Am I supposed to feel ashamed because the sound of my tongue doesn’t suit the colour of my skin? Am I supposed to look, think, sound like the others. Well, firstly I think that ancestral identity is overrated. What should matter more is your own personal history. In this case, be proud of the way you’re brought up, but work toward a better you and a better future for your family.


My second language is easily Bahasa Malaysia since the schools I attended were Malay-medium. However my usage of the language is restricted to the academic purposes because it’s really not suitable for the streets. Street Malay is devoid of all the grammar and tenses of formal Malay, complete with its own vocabulary and chronically shortened.  I have some Chinese friends who speak colloquial Malay with all the slangs and what not. That comes with lots of interaction with Malay friends, interactions which I never really had. I only wish that colloquial Malay sounded more like proper Malay, so that my Malay education doesn’t totally go to waste.


As for mandarin, I did learn little of it in my primary school, but my grasp on that wee bit of language is slipping away. I grew up on Penang Hokkien, which is virtually useless where I’m staying in the Klang Valley. As far as the Klang Valley region is concerned, Cantonese is the predominant Chinese dialect, and I did pick up bits of the language especially from my colleagues and now can order food confidently.


From years slaving away in the working environment, I feel that the need to master mandarin is greater than before. English educated Chinese families have been leaving Malaysia in droves over the decades leaving all the Chinese educated ones behind. Indeed in many industries and corporations the Chinese educated rule the roost. Pax Americana and other Anglophone countries today are on the decline in contrast to an ascending China which has yet to see the top of the hill. And you bet I’m going to take classes in the future.


To many people, their language is solidly tied to their culture. I am no different. It reflects my childhood, background and upbringing. And no matter what people say and no matter how many languages I may or may not master in the future, I’m proud to declare that English is my first language now and always.

Ducks Quack, Chickens Cluck: Languages in Malaysia

According to the Malaysian Constitution, Malay or Bahasa Malaysia is the national language and every Malaysian is highly encouraged to learn it. In reality, mastery of that language varies from community to community as national schools use it as the medium of instruction while Chinese and Indian vernacular schools only teach it as a language subject. Nevertheless Malay is the official language, and all government related affairs, legal and parliamentary proceedings, and official statements are conducted in this language.

Malaysian Standard English is unofficially the second language in Malaysia due to its historical and current global importance. English is taught in every school, but method of teaching English does not make the students proficient speakers of the language; grammar is not studied in depth in the syllabus.

In the early 20th century, the Chinese in the country mostly speak dialects from different regions in China where they immigrated from e.g. the Hakka, Hokkien, and Cantonese etc. Most Malaysian Chinese children go to Mandarin-medium primary schools but most of them make the switch to Malay-medium secondary school because Chinese-medium secondary schools are not free apparently. As such, the use of Mandarin is growing as the unifying language for the majority of Malaysian Chinese.

The Indian community comprise hugely of ethnic Tamils and other South Indians while the rest of the Malaysian Indian community are from North India. So the almost de facto official language of Indians in Malaysia is Tamil.

The indigenous communities in East Malaysia have their own ethnic languages. And it’s worth mentioning that since Malaysia is the heartland of the Malay peoples, the Malay language itself has many dialects and creoles which formed regionally within the large expanse of the Malay Archipelago.

When communities converge and intermingle, like in other cosmopolitan countries, you see a variety of language by-products, the first being foreign word adoption. Each language, especially their colloquial forms, finds itself using words from another even in modern times. The Malay language for instance is enriched with a lot of English (the last colonial power in Malaysia) words for words like patriotisme, demokrasi and polis and other borrowed words include samseng (gangster) from Chinese, kedai (shop) from Tamil.

Another phenomenon that pops up in a melting pot such as Malaysia is the emergence of creoles. One notable but almost extinct creole is the Baba Malay that is based on Malay but is heavily influenced by Chinese Hokkien dialect. Bizarre as it sounds there is another Portuguese based creole called Kristang that has persevered for over 600 years since the Portuguese last conquered Malacca.

We all hope that our children do their best in school, but the reality is that many will never get those A’s and B’s you wish for. They may not be adept at languages but have exposure to many, and mastering even one language may be too much to ask for. What’s happening is that when constructing sentences, written or spoken, words that come to mind are not necessarily from the same language. Colloquialisms, coffee shop chats, chatroom banter is represented by a mishmash of local languages or bahasa rojak as we like to call it.

Manglish or Malaysian English (sounds like Mangled English doesn’t it) sounds a lot like Singlish if you’ve heard of it. It can be considered a creole itself with English as its base but with many local slang words, and borrowed words from Chinese, Malay and Tamil. It even has its own augmented grammar. But depending on whom you talk to and their backgrounds, Manglish can be more skewed towards Malay, Chinese or Tamil. It’s terrifying that for some Malaysian, all the English they know is actually Manglish.

What may seem like a colourful country is in fact a black spot for nation building. There remain pockets of racially divided communities that do not speak Malay, the national language nor English. I see this especially in West Malaysia, where tempers flare even today, 50 years after independence, over misunderstandings and cultural differences. The situation today continues to drive communities apart with newspaper, television and social media all catering to each community’s wants.

The Malay language doesn’t seem to be a good integrator for the Malaysian society because simply it’s too closely intertwined with Malay culture and Islam. The custodian of the language is a body called Dewan Bahasa Dan Pustaka, and their bias shows. In fact, from 1986 to 2007 the official language was changed to Bahasa Melayu or the Malay Language as opposed to the more inclusive Bahasa Malaysia name. The Cabinet realised that The Malay language belongs to Malaysians of all races and not just the Malays.

We should make comparisons with a few neighbours. In Thailand, the Thai language is imposed on all citizens. However, in majority ethnic Malay regions of southern Thailand, wars are waged to keep their Malayness. A land with as many ethnic groups as they have islands, Indonesia is united by the common language Bahasa Indonesia which is the only language taught in schools. Singapore, which seceded from Malaysia decades ago, uses English to unite their people. English is a neutral language, and not affiliated to any ethnic community. In other Asian countries minorities either blend into the majority like Vietnam and Phillipines, or are united by a true national language as in Indonesia.

Back in Malaysia, how can other communities embrace the national language without all its cultural attachments? They can’t right now. For most of us non-Malays, the national language will always be a second language mainly reserved for official use and dealings with Malay friends. A good example is that when a typical non-Malay speaks Malay, it sounds awkward because the speaker hardly uses it. But to be a truly Malaysian language, all communities must share it, advance it and cherish it. That’s not happening right now. Forging a new future united for this nation is like tracing a path through a socio-political minefield. How this would be tackled by the government, we have to wait and see.