Impossible to Learn Mandarin @ the Global Hanyu Centre

Arrgh! Another attempt at Mandarin class foiled. The first Level (Groupon) was fine, but the follow up level was impossible to catch up. Actually for first time beginners, I think the first level may be a little too tough. This could explain the high number of absentees and slackers. I was on the other hand a rung above with my history grappling with Mandarin.

I was a good student, at least I thought so. I actually revised past weeks’ lessons and tried to copy whatever there was on the board, tried to ask questions when in doubt, attended every lesson, on time as well.

After Level 1, a test was conducted, I scored well, earning me a place in the next level with a discount price. In Level 2, I was in for a surprise. She stopped speaking English altogether. She said, “We need to learn fast.” Also, she wrote less pinyin on the board and started teaching Chinese characters (something I look forward to).

Problem is, I can no longer ask questions, because every 1 in 2 words is new to me. Sometimes she takes up to half an hour delivering her ‘grandmother stories’ which the other 4 students more advanced than I, seemed to understand, laugh even. The official material looked like a photocopied primary school textbook, from which we learnt Chinese characters. Now and then she would derive certain new characters because they are related to some other character we’re learning.

Bottom line is, from the first lesson to the last, the difficulty level increased exponentially. Once she hits your current level, she only goes upwards from there, and that’s when you’re doomed.

My buddy system failed, because my ‘buddy’ has been holding out on me. Apparently he understands everything and his level is a lot higher than mine. It’s just that he refuses to speak unless forced to. That's a lesson for me. Next time pick a buddy who's on par with you, and not secretly hiding his linguistic skills.

The lessons weren’t all that bad, she was clearly trying to shake things up with her lesson plan. Once she had a dumpling festival celebration in a potluck style. One of our homework assignments was to sing a friendly song in Mandarin and record ourselves. One time she made us watch half a movie (thank God it has English subtitles).

But the killer was definitely the second level final exam. Not only do we have to take a written test where half of the questions were based on things never taught (kind of like University), we had to prepare a presentation based on a certain topic and present it to the class. I mean I haven’t learnt enough words, conjunctions not even for a wholesome conversation, and now a PowerPoint presentation?

I really love to continue with the next level, I do, but at this point I expect Level 3 to astronomically difficult, probably discussing Confucius teachings, Fengshui theories etc. Alas I concede defeat, I cannot continue to Level 3.