How to Survive a Panic Attack

I’ve had frequent panic attacks or anxiety attacks in my life, and it wasn’t until the last one in 2008 that sent me to the emergency ward that I actually knew that I’ve been having them. All this time I thought I was having a heart attack or a mini stroke or whatever. But it was an unexpected Godsend, because the ER doctor diagnosed me with having the hyperventilation syndrome – a common cause of panic attacks. And despite the embarrassment, panic attacks are 100% survivable, although it may feel like a near death encounter.

People’s reaction to it is terrible to say the least. Some people think you’re socially weird, you get shunned, and some just don’t care. And for something that seems out of your control. Well, it’s time to control it. I’ve learnt how to prevent my hyperventilation induced attacks, but after 27 years I’ve had more than a few episodes. I am sharing six of them below.

One of my earliest panic attacks I could remember was when I was in my baby crib. I must have been 2 or 3, but it’s traumatic enough for me to remember it. I woke up in the middle of the night, my unnerving nightmare dragged into the waking. My perception of reality became distorted. Objects I looked at became large in my mind, and the next, and the next. It made my heart beat fast and hard.  The only thing my parents could do is watch me uneasily sit upright in my crib, anxious for no apparent reason.

Another nightly attack happened many years later. This time the whirring sound of the ceiling fan messed with my dreams. I was actually trying to count the revolutions of the fan. Being a human counter made my heart palpitate, and in my mind I was stuck in a weird obsession with counting up to the millions. That took some time to calm down.

Another attack came when I was at a school assembly when a performance took place. Then it came to a comedic act of some kind, and caught up in it, I was laughing my ass off, with a price. I became short of breath, and dizzy, unable to recover at all. I was carried off to the sick bay by my surrounding classmates. I followed up this episode with a visit to the hospital, gave me an ECG test, I have an irregular heartbeat but was that the cause? Even did an echocardiogram, do I have mitral valve prolapse? Inconclusive.

By then I could identify the common symptoms that characterize a typical attack, heart palpitations, constricted chest which leads me to unknowingly hyperventilate, tingles and numbness in my fingers and toes (and eventually arms and legs whole) and dizziness which can almost lead to fainting. Sometimes I may have mental obsession on some issue and a distorted sense of reality, but not always.

One night, during a mamak stall dinner with friends (which I don’t really like) , I was drinking the teh tarik and chatting. Soon I slid into another attack, this time I heeded some advice about putting my legs between my legs to get more blood into my brain. But it didn’t work. Another embarrassing episode in front of friends, no wonder they don’t call me. This time I went to hospital again, I got an electroencephalogram (EEG) test. This is the test where they glue electrodes to your scalp and measure your brainwaves; they can really tell if your eyes are open, you know. But this test said I was perfectly normal.

The reaction to this next incident was just plain insensitive. I was in Form 4 and I had a terrible case stage fright when my English teacher made me read out a story essay I had written to the whole class, my judgemental class. I got the numbness and tingles fast. “Oooh he’s numb now.”  Soon the chest constrictions came. My teacher had the nerve to make fun of my condition. I went back to my seat, while someone else read my story. My stage fright led me to a partial panic attack and loads of embarrassment. But over the years, I learnt how to control my stage fright, so no worries.

My last and hopefully final bout with panic attacks happened during a team dinner with colleagues. I ate a bit more than usual, and was bloated by the end of dinner. Then it came with all the usual symptoms, but this time in front of all my colleagues. I was crying out things like “Is my heart still beating?” “I feel faint” while lying flat in the car park. My boss and a couple of colleagues drove me to a clinic which then sent me to the hospital. They gave me a drip, and recovered slowly after. You see, we were supposed to have a teleconference with people on the other side of the world. And they had to cancel because of me. And when the doctor said I had a panic attack, mercilessly, my colleagues laughed their heads off. I was the joke for the whole year after that. 

But that visit to the emergency ward was a blessing in disguise. Their treatment for panic attacks involves breathing out of a paper or plastic bag. When a panic attack takes place, in my case, there is apparently excessive oxygen in my blood and low CO2 as I was hyperventilating. To counter that, breathing out of paper bag lowers the amount of oxygen taken in, and would relieve the symptoms. But using a paper bag is terribly embarrassing in public. So the best way, when you feel the onset of a panic attack, is to BREATHE SLOWLY AND Deeply and FOCUS on SOMETHING TANGIBLE, hold it even, in case the giddiness is too much. But emphasize on the slow breathing, your heart may be racing but you must breathe slowly.

Now the only panic attacks I fear are the ones that come in my sleep, because those, I cannot control. Make sure that it is not caused by asthma, or heart problems first. Check with your doctor first. Panic attacks tainted my childhood and my social life with many unwanted and unnecessary traumatic episodes. So I sincerely hope that my advice can help you end your struggles with panic attacks once and for all.