Battleship: Movie Review

I’m going to start out by saying: This is the best loudest action extravaganza popcorn flick in the past 5 years. It’s the kind where it gets you on your feet (figuratively speaking), cheering on the heroes, air punching the bad guys (again figuratively), unrealistic or silly as the plot may be. It gives that impression of worldwide impending doom like Armageddon, Independence Day and Transformers 1 (forget 2 or 3). Actually, it’s better than Transformers 1 if you compare the two Hasbro branded movies.


Now the differences; comedy wise, Battleship’s comic relief scenes are a whole lot more extreme, and admittedly a little out of place. The opening scene starts like this.

Alex Hopper (Taylor Kitsch), an unemployed and deadbeat twenty something year old guy celebrates his birthday in a bar with his brother, Stone Hopper (Alexander Skarsgård). Stone insists that his brother turns his life around and maybe join him in the Navy, when a hot Samantha (Brooklyn Decker) walks in the bar and takes Alex’s breath away. An argument arises with the bartender who refuses to serve chicken burrito to a famished Samantha. Alex offers to solve her problem in 5 minutes or less. He races to the nearby convenience store, only to find that the shopkeeper had just closed shop. But it’s just right there, the chicken burrito.

The next few seconds features in-store CCTV footage. He peels through the ceiling and insulation making a hole which he falls out from. Then he grabs the burrito, heats it in the microwave and plans an escape through the same way he came in. He slips off a ladder but he eventually exits the store to the sound of police sirens. Alex runs towards Sam, but multiple police tasers brings him down. But not for long, Alex digs deep for strength, he gets up and tosses the chicken burrito to Sam, delivers his promise, just before a final taser shot blacks him out amid bewildered looks.


Fast forward to the future, Alex Hopper joins the navy and reaches lieutenant rank and takes part in a Pan Pacific military exercise around Hawaiian waters. The Japanese fleet took part, and yes, even the Royal Malaysian Navy. Out of nowhere, aliens attack. Damn, I hate it when that happens. They surround Hawaii in a force field, splitting the US fleet in two, Stone being in one of the few ships inside the force field. The battle with the aliens ensues.


Aliens are treated, in this movie, purely as the ultimate mysterious enemy. They are given no characterisation whatsoever, nor do we really know what they’re up to, but all we know is that they are technologically advanced in comparison. Battleship’s aliens look like simians with braided beards and chameleon limbs, all donning mechanized armour. Oh man, at least it’s more memorable than that disappointing alien from Super 8.


There are a couple of things that were cleverly done. Director Peter Berg included real US Navy veterans who are currently museum employees into the movie. They were aptly given a major role in the plot as well, a move deliberately aimed at drumming up American pride.

In another stroke of genius, Peter Berg also coaxed a real life Iraq War veteran, a double above-the-knee amputee to play himself in the movie. I recognised him from an issue of National Geographic featuring bionics and so did Peter. Gregory Gadson, the amputee, is part of an advanced bionics program and is fitted with a pair of powered prosthetic legs that enable him to walk with just a cane. Surprisingly Gregory can act and they gave him a role as big as Rihanna’s, whose cinematic appearance is a career first. For me, there’s no question about who the bigger star of the two is.


Battleship was meant to be campy and cheesy from the start without the need for a story with considerable depth. So movie theme is a bigger factor. I think it’s long overdue that a militaristic fantasy movie takes the fore, because blockbusters in recent years have been predominantly centred on comic book superheroes. Transformers did feature the military, but there’s always that pesky kid that keeps meddling about.

There is a minus point however; mysterious aliens from outer space that aren’t serious are in danger of becoming a passing fad as movie goers grow jaded with similar themes. Hollywood needs to keep aliens out of the movie sets, at least for a little while.


That being said, I loved it. 9/10.